


Golem

by RPGwrites



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Control, Control chip, Diabetic Shepard, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Trust, Type 1 diabetic, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28984338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RPGwrites/pseuds/RPGwrites
Summary: Miranda did everything in her power to make sure the Lazarus project ran as smoothly as possible. But one thing bothered her. How can they assure Shepard stays in line? That she does what needs to be done. Her one and only answer was a control chip. With this they would get everything they need and soon the reapers will be destroyed.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Comments: 12
Kudos: 12





	1. The Implant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LJANdersen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LJANdersen/gifts).



> Prompted by [ LJANdersen ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LJANdersen/pseuds/LJANdersen) Prompt: "What if Shepard discovered she did have a control chip in her brain after all? Removing it would kill her, but by leaving it, she's a threat to everyone around her. Would she need to put safety measures in place? Could her friends be trusted to stop her with lethal force if she went rogue?"

The hardest part after getting rescued was he knew Shepard wasn't coming back. She was really gone. 

The days after her death was the hardest. Realization hasn't dawned upon him yet. It was raw. Fresh. 

He knew she wasn't coming back but he could just see the door opening and her coming out of it. He was waiting for her. 

Now she was lost in space and possibly dead and he had to wonder. Did she die a peaceful death? Or was her death painful and full of misery?

He shut his eyes. Thinking these thoughts wouldn't bring him peace. 

Charlotte Shepard was spaced. No chance in hell she survived that. Not even she could do that. 

The days following slipped by. They felt empty. Hollow. He missed her smile. Her voice. He just missed being by her side.

He saw the crew. They all missed her. They tried to share their grief but it didn't work. 

Joker ignored him at every turn and it was better that way. He couldn't see him. Couldn't talk to him. Not after what had happened. 

If Joker just followed that one order Shepard might've been here with them. She would have said goodbye to the other fallen. But most importantly she would've been here. 

Instead she was gone. And Kaidan was all alone. 

He remembered their talks. The way how no one accepted her and he promissed he would accept her for who she is. They would talk for hours and never get tired of one another's company. 

And now all of that was gone forever. 

When the funeral came that felt empty too. People spoke at her funeral that shouldn't have spoken. There were only a few that really cared about her like her mother and Anderson. 

Her mother talked about what person she truly was and what kind of person she was growing up. It was nice to hear about this side of Shepard. She always wanted to help people. 

Kaidan shook his head. These people talked at her funeral yet these were the same people that said she was crazy for believing in the reapers. They said she believed Saren's lies. They said she was delusional. 

It felt like all Shepard's hard work was for nothing. 

People chatted away. But the words floated and later he heard none of it.

Later he met up with the crew. They talked about Shepard and laughed about the old days. But he didn't laugh. He couldn't. 

Not without Shepard. 

"I miss her," Liara said when the conversation died down. She was the first to admit this outloud. "She would've wanted a funeral with family and friends. Not this."

Joker was there but he avoided Kaidan's gaze. 

"Yeah," Ashley agreed, "At least there's people here who appreciated her. Her mom seemed nice."

At that Kaidan nodded. "Char-" Everyone looked at him. It could be shocked glances or perhaps it was just him imagining it. "Shepard and her mom were pretty close."

"Dammit," Ashley cursed, "This shouldn't have happened."

"It's a damn shame." Kaidan responded. And he meant it. 

Drinks were brought and the crew continued chatting away. Most conversation was about Shepard. 

When Joker approached him he knew he couldn't hold it together anymore. She was gone because of him. He tried to talk pleasant with him. He tried to forgive him. But he couldn't. 

"Kaidan…" Joker dropped his head. "I'm sorry. I should've gone when she told me." 

He held his breath. He should tell him it was all an accident. That it wasn't his fault. Charlotte would've understood. That's what she would've told him if she was here. 

In his heart he understood Joker's position. He wanted to try and save the Normandy. To fight. He needed to. 

But he couldn't accept it. 

"You're right."

That's all he said. That's all he needed to say. And he left. 

* * *

_Make sure we don't lose the Commander._

That was Miranda's orders. And that's what she did. 

They were lucky to getting Shepard's body at all. A Dr. T'Soni gave her to them. She wasn't alive. No. Far from it. She was dead. 

Her courage fell. She felt like she failed her mission. But instead the Lazarus project was born. Miranda began setting up a team and they got hard to work. 

But the more time went by the more something ate away at her. 

Why the hell would Shepard work for Cerberus? During her huant with Saren she ran into them. And as she understood it wasn't pleasant. It was cells Miranda had nothing to do. But the fact stood Shepard didn't agree with Cerberus' methods. 

How could they ensure that she would actually listen to Cerberus and not slip away? 

She had to think about this. 

A control chip would be the answer. It was their only hope. 

The problem with this was the Illusive Man wouldn't stand for it. Or she didn't believe he would. He wanted everything to be perfect for this project. 

So when she was off duty she began researching the different versions of control chips and how they could benefit their cuase. If she could convince the Illusive Man. If she could let him see into reason it could be something. They could ensure they wouldn't bring her back for nothing. 

So at her next meeting she brought it to him. 

Miranda didn't get nervous. But for some reason this meeting made her very nervous. This feeling unnerved her. 

"How is the progress on the Commander?" The Illusive Man asked as he took a puff of smoke. 

"We had run into some minor problems along the way. But it's as good as it can be," Miranda reported. 

She and Willson disagreed. He said at numerous of times that they spent too much credits bringing the Commander back. But it was worth it back. This was their only shot at defeating the reapers. Shepard is the only one that defeated a reaper. If she did it once she could do it again. 

This was for humanity. For the reapers. 

The meeting went back and forth. He asked for reports on her progress. He asked how far they were and if they were still on track. 

There were a few times they disagreed on a few notes but all and all the meeting went well. 

"Good. Is there anything else?"

"Yes." Miranda clutched the datapad to her chest. "I have some concerns about the Commander."

The Illusive Man sat forward in his chair. "I thought you said everything is in order."

Miranda stood up straighter, "My concern is for when she wakes up. We need to make sure she will be in line, follow orders. Do what needs to be done."

He frowned. "And what do you suggest?"

"Let's put a control chip in her."

The Illusive Man took a puff of his smoke. Then he shook his head. "No."

Clearly he didn't agree with this. But Miranda expected as much. She was prepared. 

"This will be the best for us."

"There is a chance it will change her personality. I won't risk it."

Miranda bit the inside of her cheek. "That's a risk we need to take."

She was frustrated. Couldn't the Illusive Man see this? They needed to ensure Shepard could be trusted. This needed to be done. 

"No."

"What if I do the proper tests?"

The Illusive Man narrowed his eyes and considered her for a moment. Time dragged on. It felt like time stopped forever. "And then what?"

"Then we don't do it if the tests are negative towards it."

"Send me all the information you have."

It felt like Miranda's heart had stopped. She actually succeeded. 

* * *

The next few months Miranda did her research. They did all the tests they could do and when the Illusive Man was happy they continued with the chip. 

It was Miranda's job to convince him which version to take. 

"This one seems the most successful," she said at their one meeting, "It's precisely what we would want."

"How so?" He asked as he took a puff of smoke. 

"She'll follow the orders at best."

"What symptoms will she experience?"

Miranda and the Illusive Man talked about this. No matter which implant they put into the Commander there would be some symptoms. It couldn't be avoided. 

She looked down at her datapad, "Headaches, possible migraines, memory loss…"

"Will she become suspicious?"

This was a worry. They didn't want Shepard to find out she has a control chip. This would destroy their plans for her. This needed to stay hidden. 

"Well," Miranda shrugged, "Anything is possible. But," she said before the Illusive Man could say anything else, "that's why we need to be able to explain it. Her symptoms must be something else. She was just dead for a while. A control chip couldn't be the first conclusion they can come up with." 

"They?" He raised his eyebrows. 

She chuckled. "Well. There's Shepard's friends of course. She'll turn to them if she has suspicions."

"But you don't think that will happen."

"I think whatever ship doctor there is will examine other options first. If that's Shepard's first conclusion then she is very paranoid indeed."

The Illusive Man nodded. "We need to make sure a medical examiner won't be able to find the chip." 

"I talked to Wilson and he assured me he can hide the chip. No scanner will be able to find it. "

"And what about the tests?"

"All tests concour that Shepard's personality won't be changed. We can't be certain, only when she's awake, but if it's changed we can remove the control chip." 

"And only we can remove it?"

"Yes," Miranda confirmed. "It has a kill switch. Nobody can successfully remove it but us." 

"Good Miss Lawson. Everything is in order. Proceed."

Miranda felt like she could breathe. This was the one thing she needed to work. Then they might have a real chance at defeating the reapers. 

They could begin with the surgery. The time has come. 


	2. Wake up Shepard

Everything was quiet. Too quiet. Shepard didn't hear a mouse move. She was laying still. There was peace. 

"Wake up Commander." 

But still Shepard didn't move. She was at peace. 

"Shepard, do you hear me? Get out of that bed now this facility is under attack."

Her eyes snapped open. Facility? That didn't make sense. Where the hell were she? 

She tried to recall her memories. Her hand went to her jaw rubbing her. Nothing. Blank. 

"Shepard your scars aren't healed but I need you to keep moving this facility is under attack."

It was a woman that spoke. That much Shepard knew but not much else. 

Slowly but surely she grunted as she tried to sit up straight. Pain flared at her side and she gave another groan. Shepard had no idea what happened. 

She started to look around. She was in bed alright. But it was hard. Shepard was also surrounded by medical equipment. She frowned. This was some sort of medical facility. But where? 

She looked out of the window and saw gunfire going around. They were in space, she realized. 

"There's a pistol on the other side of the room. Hurry!"

With her hand on her side she climbed off the bed. Her side didn't want to stop screaming. 

What happened? Where was Chakwas? Why the hell wasn't she on the Normandy? And why couldn't she recall anything? 

"Grab the pistol and armor from the locker," the voice directed as Shepard made her way to the locker. 

She grabbed it but frowned. "This pistol doesn't have a thermal clip." 

"It's a med bay we'll get you a clip from...dammit those canisters from the door is going to blow. Get down. Keep your head down. Shield yourself from the blast."

Shepard did as she was told and got into cover. The cannisters exploded as the woman said. If Shepard went to the door she would have been more injured than she already was. Whoever this woman was she didn't want to kill Shepard. 

"Someone is hacking security trying to kill you."

The question was why. Who were these people? What did they want? 

"Look for a thermal clip for your pistol."

Shepard went to the door and she found a thermal clip. 

"Looks like they set up a barricade to try holding the mechs off." The woman continued. 

That helped identify what Shepard was fighting but it didn't answer who was behind it. Shepard took cover yet again. Just as she took cover there were mechs. 

One. Two. Three. She shot them as fast as her two hands could muster. In turn she made use of throw and used her biotics. 

"We need to get to the shuttles," the woman said when the mechs were destroyed. 

As Shepard continued moving the woman spoke again, "Shepard security mechs are closing in your position. Take cover." 

The mechs were no challenge. Shepard took them out easily using her pistol and biotics. 

"Nice work Shepard," the woman said after it was taken care of. 

As Shepard continued on she began to wonder who was this woman and why was she helping her. But her memories were also returning. 

A crash. People dying. The Normandy dying. Joker refused to let go. Shepard getting spaced. But that didn't explain one thing. 

How did she get here? 

Just as Shepard watched people that probably worked here die the woman spoke again. “Stop wasting time. I can’t keep the mechs distracted for very long.” 

So Shepard continued. 

“More reinforcements heading your way. Grab the grenade launcher of the security officer’s body. “

Shepard did what she was told and grabbed it. 

“Here come the mechs. Use the grenade launcher to take them out.”

Shepard hid under cover and waited for them to come. Then they showed up and she shot them with a grenade launcher. Just like that they exploded into bits. 

“Take the elevator down one floor.”

Again Shepard did what she was old and wondered where this stranger was leading her. 

But it wasn’t long until Shepard lost her. Something was interfering with the signal. The last bits she did hear indicated the woman was under attack. 

This wasn't good.

* * *

Shepard took every opportunity she got. This meant when she got across recordings she listened to them. Surprisingly it was about her. 

One she recognized. It was the woman that spoke to her over the radio. They spoke about her like she was some kind of subject. A piece of meat on a table. It didn’t take her long to put one and one together. 

There was a man that complained about the price of the project. The project that was her. Why the hell would they spend so many credits on her?

So these people saved her life. But why? And what did they want? Did they save her life after the Normandy was destroyed? 

It wasn’t long until she came across someone. She was thankful. A wave of relief flooded her. It was human. Male. 

“Shepard,” he said, “What the hell?”

He fought his own mechs and was distracted by her coming into the room. She was just thankful to have come across someone. Maybe now she could get some answers. 

She used her pistol and shot the targets where she could. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, surprised. “Thought you were a working in progress.”

In how bad a shape did she have to be? 

“Are you with Miranda?” She first needed to know if she could trust him. 

“Yeah. Sorry. I forgot this is all new to you right now. I’m Jacob Taylor. I’ve been station here for-”

But he was interrupted by a mech. 

“Dammit.” He went back into cover. He shot one in the head and had his attention on Shepard again. “Things must be worse than I thought if Miranda has you running around. I’ll fill you in. But we better get you to the shuttle first.” 

Shepard frowned. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Why wouldn't Miranda have her running around? 

“I know this isn’t the best time. But I’m sick of stumbling around when I don’t know what’s going on." Shepard needed to know what the hell happened. 

“Fair enough. I’ll give you a quick version. Your ship were attacked and destroyed. You were killed. Dead as dead can be when they brought you here. Our scientists brought the last two years putting you back together. You’ve been comatosed or worse that whole time. Welcome back to your life.”

Shepard blinked. That was… impossible. She was dead. _No!_ “That’s im…” she shook her head,” I’m having trouble wrapping my head around this.”

“Yeah I can imagine. The Alliance have officially declared you killed in action. The whole Galaxy thinks you’re dead and if we don’t get to those shuttles they’ll be right.” 

But this wasn’t enough. Shepard had more questions. 

“Are there any survivors of the Normandy?”

“I’ll tell you what. You help me finish up this mechs and I’ll play with you 20 questions all day. We're low on thermal clips but I’m a biotic. Just give the order when you want me to hit them with the good stuff.”

It wasn’t much but it had to do. 

Jacob used his biotics on a mech and took it out. The mech flew across the room. 

It was just like old times. Shepard ordered him to take out the mechs using pull and she did the same. Quickly they were done defeating their foes. 

“Okay,” Jacob said as he equipped his weapon, “I promised I’d answer your questions. What do you want to know?”

There were so many. Truthfully Shepard didn’t know where to start. Her head was spinning and spinning. She felt like all the questions were beginning to strangle her alive. 

“You said they spent two years rebuilding me. How bad were my injuries?” It was the question that was nagging her. Surely it couldn’t be so bad. He was just overreacting. 

“I’m no doctor,” he admitted, “but it was bad. When I first saw you were nothing but meat and tubes. Anywhere else and they put you in a coffin. But the project Lazuras was different. Cutting edge technology.”

With each word her heart beat faster and faster. It was worse than she thought. More and more questions popped into her head. What if she wasn’t really _her_? What if she was a clone?

Why the hell would they do all this to save her life? Surely they wanted something. The question was what?

“What do you mean? Cloning? Cybernetics?”

“I don’t know the details. You’d have to ask the scientists but I’m pretty sure you’re not a clone. They wanted to bring you back exactly as you were. You still you. You just may have a few extra bits and pieces now.” Jacob almost seemed too sure about himself. 

“What can you tell me about the project?” Shepard needed to find out more. Whatever the hell this is. “Were there other test subjects?”

Jacob firmly shook his head. “Project Lazarus only had one subject. The whole point was to bring you back. Just you.” He repeated. Shepard had an idea it was for emphasis. He shrugged. “Even that was a challenge. Two years. All the top scientists. The best technology money could buy.” 

She needed to find out what happened with her crew. “Last thing I remember is the Normandy blowing up. Did anyone else make it?” Shepard _needed_ to know. Her heart burned to know. 

“Just about everyone survived.” With Jacob’s words Shepard felt like she could breathe again. “A few servicemen from the lower decks didn’t get out. Navigator Pressley was killed by an explosion. But everyone else including non- Alliance crew including the asari Liara and the quarian they all made it out alive.”

Shepard was saddened by the news of Pressley. He was the damn best second she could ever ask for. 

“Do you know what any of them are doing now?”

“I don’t know Commander. It’s been two years. They’ve moved on.Left the Alliance. Could be anywhere.”

Shepard wondered if anyone clung together. But most importantly she wondered where Kaidan ended up. Wondered if he was still alive. Surely if Jacob didn’t say anything it meant good news. 

“They were my team,” Shepard said, “ if they knew I was alive they’d come back.” Or that’s what Shepard hoped. 

“Maybe you can track them down after we get off the station.” He stared intently. “If we get off the station.” 

Then it was to more serious matters. “Do you know anything about this attack? Who's behind it? What their after?”

Jacob rubbed the back of his head, “Damned if I know.” He was as puzzled with this as she was. "I was getting ready for some shut eye then bam! Bunch of explosions. Next thing I know every damn mech in the place starts shooting at us. I’m guessing it had to be an inside job. You’d need top security access to hack all the mechs.”

The question was did Jacob have an idea who was behind this? 

Next she had to ask about him. “What’s your job here?”

“Depends on who you ask. Technically I’m Miranda’s top Lieutenant but I’m just a soldier,” he admitted. “I served five years in the Alliance before this. Now I’m in charge of the station’s security. Usually a lot more dull than this. Normally I don’t fire my gun unless it’s target practice.”

Next it was Miranda. The person Shepard was most curious about. “When I first woke up,” Shepard showed behind her back, “someone named Miranda was talking to me over the radio. We lost contact before I ran into you.”

“Miranda Lawson is the station’s ranking officer. She led the Lazarus team. It was her job to bring you back to life no matter what. Should have guessed she tried to save you. She’s not about to give up on you now. You said you lost contact, could you tell what was happening?”

“There was some gunfire and explosion right before I lost her.”

“She knows how to take care of herself. But I hope she’s okay.”

Shepard frowned. Jacob seemed worried about her. But working together like that Shepard couldn’t blame him. 

“What’s the quickest way to those shuttles?” They needed to get out of here. 

Jacob frowned. “Depends where the mechs are the thickest ’s probably best if we-”

“Check,” someone said over Jacob's omni-tool. “Check anyone on this frequency? Anybody still alive out there? Hello.”

“Wilson,” Jacob answered back, “This is Jacob. I’m here with Commander Shepard. Just took out a wave of mechs over in D-wing.”

So that was Wilson from the recording. She thought she recognized his voice. 

“Shepard’s alive?” He sounded shocked. As if he expected to be dead. Why, she couldn’t say. “How the hell...Nevermind. You need to get out of there. Get to the servers tunnels and head for the network control room. 

“Roger that Wilson. Stay on this frequency.” Jacob said. 

Flashbacks of someone over Shepard’s head flashed through her mind. Drugs making her sleepy.

“I think I remember a Wilson checking on me once when I woke up.”

“That’s him,” Jacob confirmed, “He’s the chief medical tech. Answers directly to Miranda. C’mon.” He showed towards his back. “Service tunnels are this way.”

* * *

“Shepard down here!”

Willson was on the ground with what appeared to be his wounded leg. Jacob and Shepard went to him immediately. 

“Bastards got me in the leg,” he said in between grunts. 

“You were there the first time I regained consciousness,” Shepard remembered. 

“Yeah,” Wilson confirmed,” That was me.” He grunted again. “How about we talk about this afterwards we fix my leg?”

“Should be some medi-gel in the first aid kid station on the wall. Hopefully there’s enough to get him moving again.” 

Wilson was able to slowly get up after Shepard gave it to him. “Thanks Shepard,” he grunted,” Never thought you saved my life. Guess that makes us even now. Hmm? I thought maybe I could shut down the security mechs but whoever did this fried the whole system. Completely irreversible.”

Jacob narrowed his eyes suspiciously,” We didn’t ask what you were doing. Why do you even have security mech clearance? You were in the bio-wing?”

“Weren’t you listening?” Wilson sounded irritated. “I were in here trying to fix this. Besides I was shot. How do you explain that?” With each word his voice rose. Something about this didn’t sit right. 

“You’re all strangers to me.” Shepard waved her hand. “Let’s get some place safe. And we’ll sort out whose fault it is.”

“Right Shepard,” Jacob said, “We need to find Miranda. We can’t leave her behind.”

“Forget about Miranda,” Wilson said,” She was over at D-wing. The mechs were all over that sector.” He shook his head. “There’s no way she survived.”

This time Jacob shook his head. “A bunch of mechs won’t drop Miranda. She’s alive.”

Wilson shrugged,” Then where is she? Why haven’t we heard from her? There’s only two possible explanations: She’s either dead or she’s a traitor.”

Shepard didn’t know a lot of things but what she did know is that Miranda wasn’t a traitor. 

“Then why did she wake me up and warn me about the attack?” Shepard asked.

“Okay,” Wilson said, “Maybe she’s not a traitor but that doesn’t change the facts. We’re here. She’s not. We need to save ourselves. Scuttle bay is only a few-”

The door opened and incoming a few mech came firing in with guns blazing. 

Wilson overloaded the canisters and they exploded. There was no one to deal with

“Okay,” Jacob said, “We took them down. But this is getting tense. Shepard if I tell you who we work with will you trust me?”

Immediately Wilson got defensive. “This really isn’t the time Jacob.”

“We won’t make it if she is expecting a shot in the back.”

Wilson crossed his arms across his chest. “If you want to piss off the boss it’s your ass Jacob.”

Finally Shepard might be able to get answers to the questions she was seeking. 

“The Lazarus project,” Jacob continued,” The program that rebuilt you. It’s funded and controlled by Ceberus.”

Cerberus...Wait. 

There was no way in hell she was going with Cerberus. 

Shepard crossed her arms across her chest. “Cerberus is the enemy I’m not-”

Something interrupted Shepard. A sharp pain stabbed Shepard at the base of her skull. The words she spoke mere seconds again was forgotten and she was on the ground. She was in agony and screamed out loud. 

“Shepard!” Someone shouted. She was pretty sure it was Jacob but couldn’t be sure. 

When she looked up she saw Wilson had a look she couldn’t describe. Was it pleasure? Shock? But why would it be any of those?

“I’m okay.” Shepard stood up slowly. “I...I’ll go with you. Let’s just move on.”

* * *

“C’mon through here,” Wilson said, “We’re almost at the… Miranda but you were...”

She was the last thing he expected to see as the doors flew open. 

Miranda shot him. “Dead?"

Jacob came in running. “What the hell are you doing?”

“My job.” She stated simply. “Wilson betrayed us all.”

Shepard held her gun at Miranda. “Even if you’re sure did he deserve that welcome?”

“He sabotaged the security systems, killed the staff, and he would have killed us,” Miranda said.

“You sure about that Miranda?” Jacob asked. “We’ve known Wilson for years. What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m never wrong. I thought you would have learnt that by now Jacob.” Miranda was very sure of herself. How Miranda knew all of this Shepard had no clue. 

It made sense if she thought back. Where they found him. How he blamed it on Miranda and tried to shift things.

“You should have taken him alive. Seen what you knew.”

“Too risky.” Miranda shook her head. “I’ve put too much time bringing you back to life to get killed now.”

“You really think Wilson is capable of all that?” Jacob still had his doubts. 

Miranda looked down at Wilson’s body. “Not anymore.”

“If you say so.” Shepard equipped her weapon. “What’s our next step.”

“We get on our shuttle and go. My boss wants to speak with you.”

“You mean the Illusive Man I know you work for Ceberus. If you think-”

Then it happened again. A sharp pain twisted at the base of her skull. Shepard cried out of pain. Even if she could remember what the last words she said was it wouldn’t have mattered.

“Shepard what’s wrong?” Jacob asked. He was kneeling beside her. That’s when she realized she was on the ground. 

“I’m fine. Let’s go.”

“No you’re not,” Jacob said.

“She’s fine,” Miranda said, “We’ll check it out later.”

“I knew she wasn’t ready.” Jacob said.

“C’mon. We need to get going,” Miranda said, “This can wait until later. 

Jacob only narrowed his eyes. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come and say hi on [ Tumblr ](https://rpgwrites.tumblr.com/).


	3. Talk is Cheap

"Before you meet with the Illusive Man," Miranda said, "we need to ask a few questions to evaluate your condition."

Her memory was foggy. She couldn't understand why she would even agree to go with Cerberus in the first place. It was all very odd. 

"It's been two years since the attack," Miranda continued," the Illusive Man needs to know that Shepard's personality and memories are intact. Ask the questions." 

"This is a waste of time," Shepard said, "I feel as good as ever." That wasn't the whole truth. The back of her skull hurt and she had no idea why. Cerberus didn't need to know that though. 

"The sooner we start the sooner we can be done. Start with personal history," Miranda told Jacob. 

They asked their questions. They asked about Shepard's history. Where she grew up. What choices she made in her military career. They even asked about how she saved Kaidan and Ashley. 

She still remembered it as if it was yesterday. She refused to choose. She was going to save them both and that's exactly what she did. 

"Your memory seems solid," Miranda said. "There are other tests we really should run." 

"C'mon Miranda. Enough with the quizzes. The memories are there and I can vouch for Shepard's combat skills personally." Jacob paused for a moment and considered what to say next. "But we should run medical tests as soon as we arrive at the station."

Miranda narrowed her eyes. "You're right. Before she talks to the Illusive Man."

* * *

When they got to the station Shepard was sent to the med bay for her check up. It eased Jacob's mind somewhat but something didn't sit right with him. 

Miranda was concerned about her personality and memories but not her health? What the hell was going on? 

Miranda was hiding something and Jacob was going to find out what. 

So after he escorted Shepard he went to find Miranda. 

"Jacob is there something I can help you with?"

Miranda sounded innocent. As if nothing was wrong. As if she had no idea why he wanted to speak with her. 

"Do we have a problem?" He decided to catch up to the chase. There was no use running around in circles. 

Miranda frowned. The first evidence of a problem. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Something isn't right with Shepard. You saw her. And we're just pretending it's nothing."

Miranda crossed her arms across her chest. "She's being checked out."

"But you don't believe anything is wrong."

"As I said it could just be something minor. Nothing to worry about." Miranda sounded calm. Too calm. And for Jacob it meant trouble. 

"But it isn't. It can't-"

And then he remembered. There were rumours about this. Rumours that they would implant a control chip in Shepard's brain. Jacob didn't think anything of it at the time. Surely the Illusive Man wouldn't allow it. He wanted Shepard to be Shepard. A control chip made no sense. But Shepard's symptoms told another story. 

"You didn't."

Miranda frowned again, "I didn't do what?"

"I can't believe it. I knew this is what you wanted. But a control chip? Are you insane?"

Miranda seemed unamused. Unsurprised. But she wouldn't deny it either. "It was necessary."

"How could you say that? We needed her to be her. Not a puppet with strings."

"She isn't a puppet with strings. She's still Charlotte Shepard. She is just being put in line. What do you think would have happened if we didn't do it? Do you think she would have listened? You saw her. She didn't even want to get out of the station with us." Miranda went on explaining but Jacob didn't want to hear any of this. It was too crazy to comprehend. 

"It will affect her personality. Something the Illusive Man is against." 

"He agreed."

"He agreed?" Jacob couldn't believe that. There was no way in hell the Illusive Man would agree to it. 

He wanted Shepard to be Shepard. Her personality not being changed. Not a damn thing different about her. 

"Yes. We did the necessary tests. Her personality is the same. She'll just work for Cerberus more willingly."

"Against her will." Jacob raised an eyebrow. 

"Not with the control chip."

"She'll find out." This time Jacob crossed his arms across his chest. It's inevitable. These symptoms are too suspicious. 

"If you tell her, yes she will. Don't forget about that stunt you pull on the Lazarus station."

"She needed to know Miranda." Jacob defended his case. It was better for Shepard to know. "Shepard needed to know who she fought with. Who saved her life."

"Yes, but not then. Don't forget what I'm capable of. This will go badly for you."

He narrowed his eyes. "Is that a threat?"

"See it as you want. The fact stays she can't find out. And if you tell her there will be consequences."

Jacob shook his head. "This isn't right."

"According to you. It's not your place to question orders. Don't come to me with this again." 

It was a warning Jacob knew he shouldn't ignore. 

* * *

"How's the Commander?" The Illusive Man said as he took a puff of smoke. "Any problems?"

Miranda checked out the room where her hologram appeared. Everything looked the same. Nothing changed. 

"We done all the tests we could," Miranda started. "The control chip worked as expected. She is currently in the med bay getting some tests done."

"Good. Have you seen it in action?"

Miranda knew what he referred to. It was the thing the Illusive Man was most interested in. "Yes. Just before we got off the station she didn't want to go off the station with us. At that time she knew we were Cerberus. Then the control chip did it's magic and she agreed to come with us."

"Good." Then the Illusive Man paused as he caught up to her words. "How did she know?"

"Jacob told her."

"Will Mr. Taylor be a problem?" Miranda could already see the Illusive Man making plans to deal with Jacob. It was the last thing they needed. 

"No. I have it handled. But he figured the control chip out."

He nodded. Unsurprised. "That was to be expected." He pointed towards her. "It's your job to put him in his place. Make sure that he doesn't tell the Commander. If he tells her our plans have failed."

"Of course."

"And the traitor?"

"Dead. It was Wilson."

He nodded his head. "It was to be expected. He kept questioning his orders."

"He didn't agree with the project. He thought Cerberus spent too many credits bringing Shepard back. But I'll bring you the report over what happened."

"Is there anything else?"

Miranda shook her head. "No. Everything is handled."

"Good. Let me meet the Commander once she's done with the tests. I expect a report of your findings." 

* * *

It felt like a lifetime for the doctor to get her tests done. Shepard tried talking to her, tried to find more out about Cerberus but she wasn't the talkable type. The doctor just said she should ask Miranda. 

Shepard didn't know what she thought of Miranda. She wasn't fond of Cerberus though. She agreed to come with them but she had no idea why. 

Afterwards she was told to meet with the Illusive Man. 

"Commander Shepard." The man who Shepard could only think is the Illusive Man took a puff of smoke. 

"Illusive Man," she crossed her arms across her chest. "I thought we'd be meeting face to face."

She didn't expect to see him via a hologram. But the room she saw was also unexpected. She didn't know what she thought to be honest. It was dark and the view overlooked an orange glowing planet. 

"Unnecessary precaution," he stated simply, "Not unusual for people that know what you and I know."

Shepard frowned, "You might be the reason I'm still alive but that doesn't mean-"

Then it happened again. A sharp pain pierced the back of her skull. Words disappeared from her mouth as if they were never there to begin with. 

What the hell did she want to say? No matter what she couldn't recall. 

"Humanity is up against their greatest threat of our brief existence." 

So Shepard went on. "The reapers." It would make sense after two years that nobody gave attention to them. What else could it be? But did Cerberus believe in them? 

"Good to see your memory is still in tact. How are you feeling?"

"Doesn't matter," she simply answered. 

"Cerberus isn't as evil as you believe." He put the cigarette in his mouth and inhaled the smoke." You will see. You and I are in the same side we just have different methods."

Shepard didn't want to hear it. She didn't know what to think. "Caught to the chase. What did the reapers do to make you decide to bring me back?"

There must have been a reason why it happened. Why the hell would they spent so much credits on her? 

"We're at war," he stood up from his chair. "No one wants to admit it but humanity is under attack." He walked closer to her. "While you've been sleeping entire colonies have been disappearing. Human colonies. We believe it's someone working for the reapers. Just as Saren and the geth aided Sovereign." He pointed at her. "You've seen it yourself. You bested all of them. That's just one reason we chose you."

Shepard wrapped her mind over this. It would make sense. But why would they only target human colonies? Wouldn't they target everyone? 

"Fighting a war doesn't seem like Cerberus, why are you involved?" Shepard needed to know. 

"We're committed to the advancement and preservation of humanity. If the reapers are targeting us trying to wipe us out Cerberus will stop them. If we wait for politicians or the Alliance to act," he shook his head, "no more human colonies will be left."

It made sense. Cerberus was out for themselves. Shepard wanted to believe this. But she wasn't entirely sure she could. 

"Sovereign was trying to harvest all life in the Galaxy. Why would the reapers target a few human colonies?" 

"Hundreds of thousands of colonists vanished. I'd say that fits the definition of harvesting. Nobody is paying attention because it's random. And the attacks occur in remote locations. I don't know why they suddenly targeted humanity. Maybe you caught their attention when you killed one of them." 

"If this is a threat against humanity you need to mobalize the Alliance." The Alliance would do something if humans were in danger. 

"They suffered substantial losses fighting Sovereign. They're rebuilding, still stretched too thin to waste resources verifying the reaper threat. Blaming the abductions on pirates and merchs is easier and more convenient."

Shepard didn't know what to say to that. The Alliance still doubted the reapers after everything. And now these people aren't protected against whatever was after them. That is to say if Cerberus was right. Shepard didn't know what to believe yet. 

"You could've trained an entire army for what you spent to bring me back." Shepard needed to know the reason they did it. The real reason. 

The questions popped at the back of her head. Shepard wasn't important. Why do all of this? What is their end game? 

"You're unique," the Illusive Man answered immediately. "Not just your ability or what you experienced. But what you represent. You stood for humanity at a key moment. You're more than a soldier, you're a symbol. And I don't know if the reapers understand fear but you killed one. They have to respect that."

Shepard frowned at his words. It wasn't her alone. So many people helped defeating Sovereign. They stood together and fought. How could she be the symbol of hope? 

The question was: could she believe Cerberus? Was humanity in danger and needed help? Or was there more to it than that? Was there something else Cerberus wanted? 

"If what you say is true, if the reapers are behind this. I'd consider helping you."

"I'd be disappointed if you accepted this without seeing this for yourself." There was something in the way he said that. As if he expected her to say yes. He turned around. "I have a shuttle ready to take you to Freedom's Progress. The latest colony to be abducted. Miranda and Jacob will brief you."

So Shepard will have the opportunity to see if this is real or not. 

She wanted to question it. She didn't know if she could trust them. Miranda just executed Wilson. She had reason but there were better ways of dealing with it. And she had no idea what to think about Jacob. 

But somehow she thought better of it. It was better to follow their lead. 

"What do you think I'll find there?" 

"If I knew that I wouldn't need to send you. Find any clues you can. Whose abducting the colonies. Do they have any connections to the reapers?" He went on listing his list. "I brought you back. It's up to you to do the rest."

* * *

"The Illusive Man is very impressed with you," Miranda said as Shepard approached her. "I'm eager to see if you can live up to his expectations on this mission."

Something told Shepard Miranda didn't like her very much. She wanted to keep an eye on Shepard. 

"I never got the chance to say how much I appreciated what the Lazarus project did for me." Cerberus was the reason Shepard was alive after all. 

"I just hope it was worth it. A lot of people lost on that station." Miranda sounded almost sad but yet neutral. As if she was trying to compose herself. But Shepard couldn't be sure. Miranda was hard to read for some reason. 

"We have to work together here. Your attitude isn't helping anything."

"I have the at most respect for your abilities Shepard," Miranda made herself clear. "It's your motivations that concern me. I believe in what Cerberus stands for. Only time will tell if you prove to be an asset or a liability to our cuase."

Miranda was a lot more defensive than Shepard expected her to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come and say hi on [ Tumblr ](https://rpgwrites.tumblr.com/).

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come and say hi on [ Tumblr ](https://rpgwrites.tumblr.com/).


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